Online Dating Consultant
None of the men I knew were asking women out in person. The online dating consultant dating world felt foreign and manufactured, where time spent in the game online dating consultant messaging and telephone robbed us of the opportunity to meet-cute at the grocery store. In a moment of frustration and loneliness, I Googled dating help. I found the website of a dating coach. Her headlines targeted my insecurities: Her clients spoke warmly about her ability to match them up with compatible partners.
Perhaps she had a gift for helping people through this, I thought. I made an introductory phone consultation with the coach to talk about her services. She called me on my cell phone and quizzed me to assess my commitment to love How long since my last relationship? Why did I think I was single? I asked her if there was anything she sensed that was holding me back.
She said no, I sounded quite open to love and she would be happy to work with me. She asked me to read a few select dating books before our next honeymoon phase over dating. Her books suggested behaviors that kept women from meeting the right men: What was different about the women who were just able to live their life and bump into "the one?
The next week I met the dating coach in person. She was soft and feminine like a designer hand cream. She reminded me of the girls from my sorority days, who mastered the art of making a man feel desired. They always seemed to get the guy but were unhappy once they got him, finding that he lacked long-term boyfriend skills.
The coach started our session by asking me to talk to her as if we were on a date. What followed was a highlight reel of my worst conversation foibles. I gesticulated wildly, stammered about uninteresting topics and kept losing my train of thought. I fumbled for something to say that was genuine and noted that her earrings were beautiful. She looked at me sternly and declared that men really appreciate compliments on a first date. I met with the coach the next week to show her my profile.
She said that was good because men want a woman who can have fun online dating consultant that I also needed to appear vulnerable. She went into my online dating inbox and started drafting messages on my behalf to men she found attractive. They were men with pretty faces whose profiles were short on humor and quirkiness. Her messages were bolder and more flirtatious than I would have put together and were full of grammatical errors. All the men she messaged were eager in their replies back to me.
I wondered if I was getting schooled in the art of first impressions, to the detriment of listening to my own intuition about men. The next week when I arrived at her house online dating consultant was pacing her hallway and talking on the phone. When our session began later, she told me she was sorry she was late but there was good news, she was asked to be a guest host on a TV show about dating. She seemed too excited about the opportunity to focus on our agenda.
I told her that all the men had gotten back to me but in truth I was hesitant to meet them. I told her that sounded exhausting and asked what she learned from her experience. The coach canceled and rescheduled our appointments over the next few weeks and I grew resentful of online dating consultant to chase after her. If she were a suitor, she would have instructed me to move on by now. The man who grilled me about my personal habits finally called to set up a date.
He sounded aggressive and controlling on the phone. Talking to him felt like I online dating consultant a dead body getting dragged through mud. I accepted his date but canceled the next day. I briefly considered making another appointment, but stopped. I had to admit to myself that this wasn't working for me. There was a wide gulf between the league of women who had a full dance card and me, for whom endless dates felt like a chore.
In truth, no one does. Despite all evidence to the contrary, I began to trust that I could meet the right man all on my own. Skip to main content. Find Us On Instagram. Find Us On Facebook. IT HAPPENED TO ME: I Hired A Dating Coach In a moment of frustration and loneliness, I Googled dating help. April 3, Tags: Datingdating coach. Style Collection and the Time Inc.