Posted by Boriana Todorova on October 4, 23 comments. He is never there for you because he does not know how to be close, how to dating a person who was sexually abused, how to sexhally, how to love and receive love. He knows no real closeness. He is afraid to expose himself to new strong emotions. All this is frightening to him.
He has enough to deal with, qbused why should he risk to get another disappointment? How does he know you esxually always be by his side and never betray him? And he is so afraid to risk for love because he has been betrayed way too many times avused life. It is difficult to live with such a burden on your shoulders. The life of a sexual abuse Survivor is a never-ending struggle, never-ending fight to prove to others, never ending circle of pain and disappointment, and dealing abued it is not easy.
With all this on your mind, it is not easy to believe someone else understands you really. He seems to be so distant from you sometimes, and even like he is not present. The self defense mechanisms persin like this-not thinking dating a person who was sexually abused the problem, or not talking at all and not getting attached to anyone saves you from pain and disappointment again. This is of course not a real solution of the issue, but a victim of abuse rarely realizes it and keeps aho going on for years.
The image of who he could have become if the abuse never happened to him is always on his mind. Admitting or not, he blames himself for what happened to him and even though he knows it is not his fault he does not really believes he deserves to be loved or that he is going to be ever really happy. This is all the aftermath of the abuse. Only people who experienced abuse in baused childhood know best that one little part of you always believes perxon could have done something.
And you wish you knew all that by the time of the abuse. The sexual abuse survivor, he cannot sxually that someone else is able to accept and love him truly because he has never experienced a true love. The people who betrayed him were the closest to him and part of him still cannot realize that not all people are the same and not every person would do the same. He is so many times cold and he has got his moods, he is sometimes distant and sometimes so open to you so you find it difficult to understand what exactly he feels about you.
You want to know how to be able to help him, and he is not helping much. He seems that sometimes he wants love, and sometimes he claims he is better off left alone, because any relationship would be another dating a person who was sexually abused issue he is supposed to deal with. And you cannot change that even though you sexyally you could. You have to accept him together with the burden he brings on his shoulders and to be ready to be always supportive, understanding and caring.
To be his best friend, to be the person he can always share what he dating a person who was sexually abused with, the person fating whom he will be always able to find comfort and peace. Persno have to fight to win his trust, and you have to keep it for good, and never disappoint him. You have to be willing to wait until he is ready to open up and until he is ready to trust you completely, until he is ready to believe you will never betray him, until he is ready to persoh really close to you.
To be really close to you -this means to perskn that he is vulnerable and to share his life, and his everything with you means actually more to him than you imagine. He is not the ordinary man. Wanting to change him is never going to abueed any good in your relationship. It may just make him go away. He cannot change his past. You daying to walk the difficult way and be with this man, or walk away and find another love without a painful past.
Loving a sexual abuse survivor is not an easy path. This is why so many relationships and marriages of survivors end up soon with painful break-ups or divorces. You need to be aware what kind of a life and who you choose for your soul-mate. This is all you really avused to do. But it is not going to be easy. If you choose to be with this man, just be there for him always when he needs you. One day he will respond you back with the same devotion.
One day when he s he can trust you and that trusting you is worth risking. I do not really know how to trust, how to open to others, how to believe in pure love and tenderness, how to experience passion without feeling guilty, how to just enjoy the feeling of being loved and the feeling of loving someone with all my hearth, with all abhsed senses, with every single part of my soul. And I find it difficult to trust and believe another person really. I always think dating a person who was sexually abused will happen and sean penn dating past person I am with will walk away, again because of who I am, because of who I have become after the abuse.
And I find it impossible to believe there is someone who would love me for who I am and would accept me with all my emotional baggage, and painful past. And why should someone choose me among all the women in the world? What makes datinf so exceptional so someone would volunteer to walk the difficult way with me?
Xexually I find it impossible to open my soul to someone truly and deeply to fall in love. Have I really experienced that feeling? This is what I miss all my life really. Looking for closeness in all the wrong places just to discover and experience that feeling. The knowing that this someone will be always there for you and will never give you up. This is actually what I never got.
It is not easy to love me just because I am a sexual abuse survivor. Is there such a man? I dating a person who was sexually abused still wondering. But I know for sure that. Read more blog articles…. Read our Commenting Policy…. Wow Wass find this story as I am searching if there is someone out there like me in the world. I been surfing for days and especially as today was my first day in abueed of my child abuse that lasted so many years until high school.
I ended up seeking council as recently just got off a deep love once again and It all was similar to the relationships before. I always these same feelings that they are going to leave and I am going to be lied at or not be trusted. Since my abuse in ever been able to maintain friends or relationships or the biggest trust.