When Casual Dating Isn't So Casual
Ask Casually dating for two months is a question and answer site that covers nearly any question on earth, where members help each other solve problems. Ask MetaFilter is where thousands of life's little questions are answered. Join 4, readers in helping fund MetaFilter. Vote by Fantastic flag, all month, in the July Best Post Casualyl Ask MetaFilter querying the hive mind.
How long is csaually long of no contact while dating? April 21, 8: So I feel like a real jerk right now. Now the question, I'd been dating a nice girl for a month or two we got along well but not very serious, no sex yet and no real full day dates [just evening dinners and makeout seshes and stuff] I went through a rough patch and kind of disconnected from everything for a bit, about 3 weeks.
I recently contacted her again apologetically saying that I'd casually dating for two months a jerk, but it was something I just had to figure out Was I that cold? Whats the proper timeframe for casual dating? I know it wasn't a good move on my part, but casualyl guess I didn't see it as that bad. The more I think about it, the more I think I'd be bummed if it happened to me.
So hive mind let me have it so I don't make these mistakes again in the future. Did she make attempts to contact you during that time which you ignored? I can definitely see how completely monfhs for 3 weeks would lead casually dating for two months to not want to date you anymore. It's not so much about a specific time frame as it is about the level of communication. At least saying, "Hey, I'm alive and thinking about you, but really really busy" once a week might be enough to keep the interest going on her side.
After two months of dating you disappeared for three weeks casually dating for two months no explanation. You crossed her point of cssually return. Don't do that again to your future partners. Explain yourself to the other humans. They will often understand. That's not ever going to be read as anything less than a total blowoff. If you're ever in this situation again, it is at least courteous to say, "Hey, I'm on the rebound and I'm overwhelmed and I need some space for a bit; I'm sorry, this is just bad timing.
So, you were seeing her for a couple of months and then you casually dating for two months for almost another month. That's enough time for her to develop some feelings for fo, which means it's enough time for her to get hurt by something like this. Sounds to me like maybe you weren't ready to start dating again.
Taking things a bit farther, when kind of behavior happens after some making out but pre-sexual encounter, we females sometimes interpret casualy as, "I didn't put out, so he montus. She didn't try to contact you? Or did you just ignore her? Yeah, as someone who occasionally cuts himself off because of whatever reasons mental, and or otherwiseif I were just seeing someone, and then dropped all contact for 3 weeks, it would be bad.
From her point of view, it was a completely blow off. What you should have done was told her that you needed to mentally take care of some stuff, and let her KNOW that you were going to cut yourself dtaing for a while. Then, with that information, she could have made a choice about whether to keep you in mind, or drop you right there.
What you did, casuzlly, was give her no information. And when presented with no information, the human brain tries to draw conclusions based on 1 past experiences, and 2 probable outcomes. It looked like you just stopped being interested, and didn't have the guts to break it off. Even though that wasn't your thought process, that was her's. And when you show back up, that doesn't heal ,onths. I've got minths feeling you've burned this bridge far too thoroughly.
Take this as a lesson learned, fasually move on, unfortunately. There's a somewhat overplayed metaphor about " the cave and the wave " that people mention in situations like these and you might want ot give it datinb look and see if it applies. To answer your twl question, if I was seeing someone casually, I'd expect that there would be some sort of regular interval creating itself after a few dating site for black and white singles. Sure, sometimes you're both really busy but basic relationship maintenance to me says that if you're seeing someone and want to keep seeing them you'll at least let them know if you're going incommunicado for some period caskally time.
Cawually I also know people who disconnect like you do for whom the idea of letting someone know that you're doing this is just totally antithetical to what they're actually doing. That said, it's a bit of a burden ywo their partners who are used to basic social norms of asking themselves "Is this guy trying to give me a hint? Am I calling too much? What is going on? In the cases I mention datong there is an explicit "Hey I sometimes disappear for a little bit but if you're worried, just text dwting and I'll let you know casually dating for two months that I'm okay b that we're still cool" This would not monthss something I casually dating for two months personally be into, but it seems to work pretty well for them, maybe you can work that into the earlier stages of your next relationship?
After a month or two of dating, I would totally perceive anything more than casually dating for two months week of no contact as "He's just not that into me". Especially if I tried to get in touch casually dating for two months you datting was ignored. I would be pissed, hurt, and move right along. It's just too easy today to send a text or email or Facebook message that "I've been really busy, but still thinking about you, hope to hang out soon!
From what I can glean from your question, neither of you communicated with each other at all for 3 weeks, and this was after a couple months of dating. So you both sent the message you weren't that into each other. You're wasting energy trying to come up with excuses that it didn't mean what it meant. Oh, it was just "casual" whatever that meansthere were no full-day dates, there was no sex You don't even need to ask us whether these facts insulate you from criticism, because you're seeing the result: But I find her reaction and the reaction of some in this thread to be bizarrely asymmetrical, assuming that you were both doing the exact same thing.